Short funny dirty sayings

Plato. “He was a wise man who invented beer.”. — Plato. The compliment of “wise” really means a lot coming from Plato. We’d like to think he’d also enjoy these funny drinking quotes ...

To ensure you’ve got all the best sayings at your fingertips, we’ve collected a list of short, funny and moving love quotes from the very best romance movies to use however you …Funny short toasts. 10.) May your beautiful lips never blister! 11.) Let us drink to bread, for without bread, there would be no toast. 12.) May all your ups and downs be under the covers! 13.) It is better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money.Southern Sayings About Being Poor & Broke. 37. He was so poor, he had a tumbleweed as a pet. 38. He doesn’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. 39. I’m so poor I couldn’t jump over a nickel to save a dime. 40. I’m as poor as a church mouse.Funny Dirty Quotes For Girls/Guys 2024 Here we have funny dirty quotes and phrases for him and her. Use these dirty mind quotes when he or she wakes up in the morning or in the night before going to bed for dirty dreams.4. “Bit me directly in the buttocks.”. — Forrest Gump, Forrest Gump. Kids’ movies aren’t the only ones that feature deceptively dirty lines. Even family favorites like Forrest Gump have ...Funny short toasts. 10.) May your beautiful lips never blister! 11.) Let us drink to bread, for without bread, there would be no toast. 12.) May all your ups and downs be under the covers! 13.) It is better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money.80 Funny Birthday Wishes. iStock. 1. May you live to be so old that the very sight of you terrifies babies and ex-lovers. Happy birthday! 2. It’s your birthday, the anniversary of the day you ...

Feb 15, 2024 ... I'm sweating like a whore in church. Southernisms From Way Back. mollymeadows has a few interesting Southernisms from her family: A crowded room ...clever quotes for Instagram Bio. “Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business.”. “Cunning… is but the low mimic of wisdom.”. – Plato. “I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.”. “Don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.”. – Unknown. “Work hard in silence, let success make the noise.”.13 Laundry Quotes. 1. Laundry – 30 minutes to wash. 45 minutes to dry. 7-10 days to put away. 2. Laundry…the never-ending story. 3. Laundry – wash, dry, fold, repeat. 4. It will all come out in the wash. 5. Laundry today or naked tomorrow! 6. The laundry is looking at me dirty again… 7.4. “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” —Will Rogers. 5. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” —Dalai Lama. 2. Funny …Sep 29, 2023 · Golf: where green isn’t just a color, it’s a destination. 🍀. Swing high, swing low, but always aim for the glow. 🌟. Life’s a game, and we’re all just looking for our hole-in-one moment. 🕳️. May your troubles be less and your golf balls never lost. 🌲. Grip it, rip it, and let the world watch in awe. 💥. “Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?” “I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you.” “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber!” “I’m not a weatherman, but you …

Mar 11, 2024 · 5. The tide wouldn’t take that fella out. One of many funny short Irish sayings that makes a jab at someones appearance is this one! For example: “The state of your man – the tide wouldn’t even take him out!”. 6. You’ve a head on you that would make an onion cry. Put your icing away. I’ve got something you can frost with. I can see into the future, and yeah, we’re gonna fuck at least once. Rumor has it you like bouncing. I’ve got something you can bounce on. I’d love to explore the box your virginity came in. I know, you be the coffee and I’ll give you some creamer for free.Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. 11. I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. 12. Life always offers you a second chance. It’s …1. There’s more meat on a hen’s kneecap. This is used to describe someone that’s skinny, similar to ‘There’s isn’t a pick on him”. For example: “Did you see Laura’s …

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Funny Dirty Quotes For Girls/Guys 2024 Here we have funny dirty quotes and phrases for him and her. Use these dirty mind quotes when he or she wakes up in the morning or in the night before going to bed for dirty dreams.Rotating through some funny sayings are the perfect way to use your letter board throughout the year. Do not read the next sentence. You little rebel…. I would lose weight but I hate losing. The broom was late… it overswept. I’m not lazy, I’m on energy save mode. The key to happiness is low expectations.Czech Proverb. “Beer before liquor, you’ll never be sicker, but liquor before beer and you’re in the clear.”. “Beer before wine, you’ll feel fine. Wine before beer, you’ll feel queer.”. “Cider on beer, never fear; beer upon cider, makes a bad rider.”. “Whiskey on beer, never fear. Beer on whiskey, mighty risky.”.Funny Pirate Sayings: Sayings About Pirates. To learn more about pirates, here are a handful of funny pirate sayings and quotes from well-known and famous individuals. “I think pirates, like astronauts, particularly for a boy, are always kind of worth thinking about.”. “It is when pirates count their booty that they become mere thieves.”.Rotating through some funny sayings are the perfect way to use your letter board throughout the year. Do not read the next sentence. You little rebel…. I would lose weight but I hate losing. The broom was late… it overswept. I’m not lazy, I’m on energy save mode. The key to happiness is low expectations.

Funny short friendship quotes. These funny and short quotes about friendship and laughter are perfect to send to a friend.. 1. “Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.” —Greg Tamblyn &nbsp 2. “It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” —Marlene Dietrich &nbsp 3. “Finding friends with the same mental …1. There’s more meat on a hen’s kneecap. This is used to describe someone that’s skinny, similar to ‘There’s isn’t a pick on him”. For example: “Did you see Laura’s …Or, they might be trying to hide from you because they jumped on all the beds and smeared chocolate on the pillows. It’s probably the latter. If you can relate to these funny mom quotes you’ll ... There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. ― Henry Kissinger. He has a face like a Saint ― A Saint Bernard. ― Unknown. A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory. ― Mark Twain. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work. The most funny toasts for drinking. 1. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. 2. May your net worth be like Ireland’s capital, always Dublin. 3. Life’s a waste of time and time’s a waste of life. Let’s get wasted all the time and have the time of our life. 4.May 12, 2019 - Explore shelia Miller's board "funny dirty sayings" on Pinterest. See more ideas about sayings, sexy quotes, words.Abraham Lincoln Quotes. Albert Einstein Quotes. Sexy Bedtime Quotes. Flirty Dirty Quotes. Sexy Flirty Quotes. Funny Dirty Quotes. Dirty Quotes For Him. Discover and share Hilarious Dirty Quotes And Sayings. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love.The best dirty jokes are not for the faint of heart and are guaranteed to make even the boldest blush. Our collection of 101 dirty jokes includes raunchy one-liners and hilarious punchlines. These jokes are perfect for adults who appreciate a more risqué sense of humor. Sit back, relax, and get ready to dive into the filthiest, funniest gags ...Rotating through some funny sayings are the perfect way to use your letter board throughout the year. Do not read the next sentence. You little rebel…. I would lose weight but I hate losing. The broom was late… it overswept. I’m not lazy, I’m on energy save mode. The key to happiness is low expectations.Funny Quotes. 1. “I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with ’em later." —Mitch Hedberg. 2. “Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This ...

60 means being carefree… just a little more forgetful. You can't regret what you can't remember. 60 is beauty. Vintage beauty. 60 means embracing the good life. And more naps. Turning 60 is just a new chapter in a long book. 60 means seeing the world differently… through glasses. 60 is like a great meal.

Funny printable Easter card. 7. “I’m very good at hiding chocolate eggs… in my stomach.”. 8. “Chocolate bunny quote: I wanted to say something inspirational this Easter, but I’m hollow inside.”. 9. “Easter is the day we celebrate the resurrection of calories.”. 10. “Happy Stuff-your-face-with-chocolate Day!”.Tener la cola sucia. To know one did something wrong, lit “to have a dirty tail”. For example, Sabe que tiene la cola sucia!, “he knows he did something wrong!”. Feliz como una lombriz. As happy as a clam (lit. “as happy as a worm”) Papando moscas. Day-dreaming (lit. “catching flies”). For example, Despiertate!Mar 14, 2024 · Charles Shulz. “May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”. – George Carlin. A day without laughter is a day wasted. Charlie Chaplin. Political correctness is tyranny with manners. Charleton Heston. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama. Check out our dirty funny shirts selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our clothing shops. ... SVG Files for Cricut - Funny Sayings Svg - Funny Svg - Adult Humor Svg - Funny Warning Sign Svg (636) Sale Price $2.51 $ 2.51 $ 3.35 Original Price $3.35 (25% off)The 100 Best Swear Words In The English Language. We might be bad at lots of things, but no one swears better than the British. by Alex Finnis. BuzzFeed Staff, UK 1. stocksnap.io ... more than one lover.”. “If it is the dirty element that gives pleasure to the act of lust, then the dirtier it is, the more pleasurable it is bound to be.”. “I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.”. “A man without a woman is like a pistol without a trigger; it is the woman who makes the man go off.”. Mar 14, 2024 · Charles Shulz. “May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”. – George Carlin. A day without laughter is a day wasted. Charlie Chaplin. Political correctness is tyranny with manners. Charleton Heston. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama. Prank Gift Inappropriate Cringe Tee Unique Ironic Saying Shirt Funny Cat Dirty Rude Saying T-Shirt Gifts for Friends Sarcastic T-shirts. (38) $14.99. $19.99 (25% off)Short and sweet friendship quotes. “Some people go to priests, others to poetry. I go to my friends.” —Virginia Woolf. “Wherever we are, it is our friends that …See full list on shortstatusquotes.com

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Colorful Southern Expressions About Liars. Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'! Don't pee down my back and tell me it's raining. That dog won't hunt. You're lyin' like a no-legged dog! If his lips's movin', he's lyin'. You’d call an alligator a lizard. That man is talking with his tongue out of his shoe.Jan 12, 2023 · 4. "People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made." —Joan Rivers. 5. "Do not take life too seriously. You will never ... Funny quotes about life. “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”. “Life is like a roller coaster—full of ups and downs, and it’s over way too fast.”. “I’m on the seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.”. “Life is like a camera. Focus on the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out ...150 Funny Birthday Wishes, Quotes, Jokes & Images Last updated: September 21, 2023 Start here for the funniest birthday wishes around! In a world where birthday cards are often filled with kind words, meaningful sentiments, and ways to charm the reader, there's always the chance to take a different route - the funny route.Golf: where green isn’t just a color, it’s a destination. 🍀. Swing high, swing low, but always aim for the glow. 🌟. Life’s a game, and we’re all just looking for our hole-in-one moment. 🕳️. May your troubles be less and your golf balls never lost. 🌲. Grip it, rip it, and let the world watch in awe. 💥.Alex Skylar. Step into the realm of delightful filth and embrace the wild side of language! Prepare yourself for a whirlwind of puns that’ll tickle your senses, leaving you chuckling in mirthful disbelief. We’re diving headfirst into the dazzling world of all things grubby, smutty, and delightfully unrefined.Oct 5, 2016 · 2. "I was hers. She was mine. My body was her chariot, and she drove it into the sun. Her body was my river, and I became the sea." (Gregory David Roberts, Shantaram) —suggested by erenah. 3 ... Many of the dirty sayings shirt, sold by the shops on Etsy, qualify for included shipping, such as: Funny Womens Shirt, Fuck This Shirt, Swearing Shirt, Nerds Shirt, Novelty Shirts, I'm A Fucking Delight, Cussing Shirts. Inappropriate Unisex White Short Sleeve T-shirt with FREE SHIPPING. Rude Shirts, Inappropriate Gifts, Funny Sarcastic Gift T ...4. “You know you’re aging gracefully when the candles on your cake cost more than the cake itself.”. – Unknown. 5. “Aging gracefully is realizing that the ‘Fountain of Youth’ is actually a water cooler.”. – Unknown. 6. “Aging gracefully is just a polite way of saying you’re slowly falling apart with dignity.”. There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. ― Henry Kissinger. He has a face like a Saint ― A Saint Bernard. ― Unknown. A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory. ― Mark Twain. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work. ….

Funny quotes about enemies. 31. “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”—. Oscar Wilde. 32. “ The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies ...40+ Short Funny Dirty Birthday Wishes for Her. When it comes to birthdays, it’s always fun to add a dash of humor and a sprinkle of naughtiness. If you’re looking to surprise that special lady in your life with a flirtatious and funny birthday quotes for girlfriend, then look no further! These short and funny dirty birthday wishes for her ...Really Dirty Quotes And Sayings. Dirty Love Quotes And Sayings. Abraham Lincoln Quotes. Albert Einstein Quotes. Bill Gates Quotes. Bob Marley Quotes. Funny Quotes About Dirty Minds. Flirty Dirty Quotes. Dirty Mind Funny Quotes.Happy birthday you massive wanker. Happy birthday, you’ve touched so many lives that right this second there’ll be someone out there smiling and thinking about you. Not me of course I think you’re an absolute prick. Happy birthday you donkey, you huge ass, you equine menace, you marvellous mule, you beautiful burro.Short funny 30th birthday messages for your friends. Sometimes you can keep the message brief and funny. These simple birthday messages are for friends close friends. Welcome to spinsterhood, girlfriend! Thirty, flirty, and downright dirty. Happy 30th birthday! It could be worse; you could be turning 31… Welcome to 30!4. “Bit me directly in the buttocks.”. — Forrest Gump, Forrest Gump. Kids’ movies aren’t the only ones that feature deceptively dirty lines. Even family favorites like Forrest Gump have ...Sip happens. It’s okay to wine. Stressed, blessed, and shot-obsessed. Shoot for the moon, if you miss you will land in a shot glass. You can’t buy happiness, but you can prepare a shot and it’s kind of the same thing. Life is not a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk. Alcohol won’t solve your problems, but ...27. You can’t believe everything you hear—but you can repeat it. 28. There’s a lot to be said in his favor, but it’s not nearly as interesting. 29. They’ve been treating me like one of ... Short funny dirty sayings, [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1]